Sunday Mornin' Hope : 30 yrs

by Psalmist on June 4th 2011, 11:25 pm

1 John 4:7-8
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

My wife and I celebrated our 30th anniversary this past monday. That in itself amazes me. Not once have we ever discussed divorce! Murder, many times. We have owned appx 18 cars and trucks and 24 motorcycles. I remember on our first anniversary I brought home a new motorcycle seat. She wasn't too impressed. I can't remember if she told me where to put it. Come to think of it, I don't remember much about that night after I brought it home. We have been on many motorcycle trips together. On our last big 3500 mile trip was when I realized there was something physically wrong. I first thought it was a lousy motorcycle seat. So I put iton Ebay the day we got back. Then the Dr's found prostate cancer. For the past almost three years it's been a battle on more than one front. I really have the greatest wife in the world.

Over the past 30 yrs, there's a few things I've found that has kept us together.

1. Keep Jesus Christ at the center of everything. He is the glue that holds families together. Prioritize this way

1. God

2. spouse/family

3. job

4. interests, friends, ministry

When you get those out of order, something will go wrong. Keep these in order, and you'll make it through the rapids.

Another key principle to remember. They are NOT going to change and YOU can't change them. Sure you can make all kinds of suggestions as often as you wish. Be careful to pick your battles. Are you feeding your 'pet peeve'? Sometimes it's best to go to Lowes, get a ladder, and get over IT.

Be sure to have a 'date night' once a week. Even if it's just a Happy Meal for two, do it. Many couples fall apart after the kids leave. Mom and dad were SO child oriented for 20+ years, they grew apart and had nothing in common. Do things you enjoy together. Even with kids at home (especially) take trips for two. Don't become married singles. Sure there's dry times. We all have them. Couples that say they don't fight, don't comunicate very well. My wife and I are total opposites in some things. If two people agree on everything, one isn't needed.

Learn each other's "Love language". There's a book called "The Five love Languages" by Gary Chapman. After the Bible, this book has been the most valuable book in my library. There is a test in the back where you and your spouse can find out the language of love you speak. It might be physical touch, quality time, acts of service, gifts, or one more. Once you find out which you and they are, you can start communicating better with each other. I never realized my wife's was 'acts of service' till 2 yrs ago. WOW!

Learn NOT to smother them. They need space just like you. If they've got good friends, don't worry about where they are. If they go out somewhere, trust them. Jealousy can and will destroy a marriage. Spend money on marriage retreats that churches sponsor. It just might help you fix you.

In raising kids, stay on the same page. Agree on the rules and disciplines. If your wife sets an early curfew and jr wants to discus it privately with you, make the curfew earlier. Stand united. One of my son's greatest compliments to me was spoken to one of his rebellious friends. My son said "My dad said 'No.' and my dad don't change." When I overheard that, I smiled.

Go to church together every sunday and pray together everynight. You might miss a few here and there but work at consistency. Tell her how GREAT she looks everyday. You can't tell her this too often. Most women don't like their hair or the way their clothes fit. Let's face it, clothes shrink too quickly. If you will pray with her everynight for say 16 yrs, and in that prayer she hears you tell God what a wonderful wife He gave you ; after 16 yrs she will have heard it over 5,000 times!!!!! That will create a firm foundation that is tornado proof.

Well I left a little space here for you to share some of your marriage secrets. remember 'Happy wife, Happy life.' Have a great week! Make it the best so far. If you need prayer, drop me a note. Remember I'm praying for you.

dino